If you feel it’s time to talk to aging parents about a move to senior living, you want to do all that you can to make the conversation successful. Here are some suggestions for good communication and a good outcome.
Timing is important when talking about a move to senior living
The beginning of a new year is a good time for a person to assess where they are in life and what they want out of the future. It’s the same for your parents. It’s possible they’ve been doing some thinking about whether they should consider a move to senior living. Or they might be feeling that their best strategy is to stay home and age in place.
Whatever’s on their mind, you might consider bringing up the subject in connection with your plans for the coming year. It could open dialog with them about what’s on their mind. And if they haven’t considered a move to senior living as part of their future, it might just help plant the seed.
Being on the same page is key
If your parents insist they are doing just fine on their own, you might do some detective work to make sure that is what is really the case. For example, they are sure they have no issues driving, yet you start to notice a bent fender on the car or a ding in the garage wall. They might tell you they are able to still safely prepare meals and are getting the nutrition they need. Yet, when you look inside their pantry and refrigerator, you see food that is well past the due date and no signs of meals being prepared.
If you do happen to spot some signs it might be time for a move to senior living, take it slow. Rather than make accusations they are not telling you the whole story, ask them if they’d like to live somewhere that offers delicious, nutritious food and they don’t have to lift a finger. Or wouldn’t it be nice to have transportation to physicians’ appointments instead of having to drive through traffic and find a parking space.
It could be they’ve never considered the advantages of a move to senior living—instead, they’ve been more focused on what they feel they would have to give up by leaving home. Reassure them that a move to senior living can mean more independence than ever, with newfound freedom to do the things they’ve always hoped to do.
Related: Today’s Senior Living Communities: Amenities That Matter
Talking to aging parents means active listening
Whether your parents are immediately interested in a more carefree lifestyle or strongly holding on to their home, it’s crucial to let them know you are listening to their concerns. You might ask them if anything is worrying them about being at home as they age, as well as what concerns them if they did choose to move to senior living.
When you talk to aging parents, let them speak; don’t interrupt. Give the conversation a chance to breathe. The more they feel you will hear them out and respect their viewpoint, the more they will be willing to hear your thoughts.
Keeping the conversation casual is best
No one wants to be lectured, least of all someone who is a parent and is beginning to feel their independence slip away. To successfully talk to aging parents, offer your thoughts as a caring friend might. Maybe you’ve heard of a new senior living community, and you are curious to check it out…would they to join you? Or a friend or neighbor mentioned their parent had made the move and was loving it.
Don’t try to solve everything in one conversation
Don’t push a lot of facts right away. This is a big subject and requires a lot of thought from both you and your parents. You might simply bring up the subject over lunch or during a walk in the park, and then let it go for a while. If other family members will be involved, let them know you’re starting to bring up the subject so they can offer support when appropriate. Things take time.
Be ready with information if asked
It’s possible your parents are beginning to realize they could use a bit more support in their lives, or they might be ready to give up housework and chores. If so, you might want to do a bit of homework on all the advantages of senior living so you can share those with them if asked.
For example, all exterior maintenance handle for them. Housekeeping and linen service provided. Delicious dining steps away with friendly companions. Countless opportunities for socializing, mental stimulation, wellness and more.
Related: Discover Daily Life in Senior Living Communities
We can help break the ice
At PMMA (Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America®), we recognize our residents as the unique, vibrant individuals they are. We do everything we can to help them live a life of comfort, joy, and peace. We’ve helped thousands of families through a transition to senior living, and we’re happy to help yours, too. Let us know how we may be of help to you and your family.
Download our brochure or contact us to learn more and to schedule your personalized tour.
